We All Want to Be Loved

A love story loosely based on true events

“STUCK PAGES is a trilogy representing the journey of a heartbreaker who never intended to be what he ultimately becomes.

It is sex, lies and videotape set to the backdrop of some of Hip-Hop/R&B’s greatest moments.

I want to thank God for guiding me through this endless journey of self-discovery. 

This semi-fictional series has taught me so much about myself. Unwittingly, I chronicled the growth of my broken heart as it healed, all the while exposing my flaws, fears and self-doubts. 

The protagonist exhibited in this story embodies the spirit I once thought was necessary for survival. However, that spirit in turn broke other people’s hearts. I believe we all have developed these patterns that are hurting us as well as the people around us. Until we face that truth, we can’t break the cycle.

In volume 1 of this series, Quincy expressed his desire to start life over again, attempting to correct the mistakes of his past. Volume 2 is a lesson in him beginning to let go of the past. It’s a lesson about unfair expectations such as an unwillingness to accept the fact that the past cannot be changed or expecting any potential future to be void of any pain.

Life in fact is sometimes painful, but everything we could ever need to cope is right here in the present (like love, family and support). It’s about being the best version of ourselves in the here and now. It took me half a lifetime to realize it and still I have to keep reminding myself on a daily basis.

Please join me on this journey to end the pattern of self-inflicted pain and suffering by way of some great storytelling. I need you.

We need each other to share the wisdom of life, especially us Black gay men who are caught up in between two communities that don’t always value our worth. 

Open your hearts and minds to the possibility that the suffering in isolation can end. Be patient and practice self-love because we are human(e). Love is love. God is love.

Vol. 1

Exposing The Heart Of A Heartbreaker

Table Of Contents

Chapter 1

Woman No Cry

Chapter 2

Spread My Wings

Chapter 3

Boys to Men

Chapter 4

If I Ever Fall In Love

Chapter 5

Roar

Chapter 6

No Sunshine

Chapter 7

The Beautiful Ones

Chapter 8

First Time Together

Chapter 9

Georgie Porgie

Chapter 10

Best Man

Chapter 11

Ain’t Nobody

Chapter 12

Blackberry Molasses

Chapter 13

Joy and Pain

Chapter 14

Funny Feelings

Chapter 15

Heartless

Chapter 16

Didn’t Cha Know

Chapter 17

Fairy Tales

Chapter 18

Is It A Crime

Chapter 19

Somebody Else’s Guy

Chapter 20

Stronger

Chapter 21

Control

Chapter 22

Do You Know (What You’re Missing)

Chapter 23

Tell Me If You Still Care

Chapter 24

Never As Good As The First Time

Chapter 25

Full Of Smoke

Chapter 26

Zoom

Chapter 27

Anniversary

Chapter 28

Everything Is Everything

Chapter 29

Let It Flow

Chapter 30

Full Moon

Chapter 31

The Boy Is Mine

Chapter 32

Bad Habits

Chapter 33

Superstar / Until You Come Back to Me

Chapter 34

Scream

Chapter 35

Lonely’s the Only Company

Chapter 36

I Can’t Face the Music

Chapter 37

Turn Your Lights Down

Vol. 2

The Pleasure Principle

Table Of Contents

Chapter 1

The Pleasure Principle

Chapter 2

What’s Love Got To Do With It

Chapter 3

The Power

Chapter 4

Knockin’ Da Boots

Chapter 5

No More Drama

Chapter 6

Smiley Faces

Chapter 7

We Found Love

Chapter 8

I’m Not Gonna Let

Chapter 9

Single Life

Chapter 10

Just Be Good To Me

Chapter 11

Happy Valentine’s Day

Chapter 12

Regulate

Chapter 13

I Forgive You

Chapter 14

If Your Heart Isn’t In It

Chapter 15

Only Human

Chapter 16

Quickie

Chapter 17

What’s Missing

Chapter 18

Street Life

Chapter 19

Player Not The Game

Chapter 20

Will You Be Ok?

Chapter 21

Heartbreaker

Chapter 22

Slow Down

Chapter 23

The Glamorous Life

Chapter 24

No More Rain

Chapter 25

Paper

Chapter 26

Officially Missing You

Chapter 27

Are You Lonely For Me

Chapter 28

Rehab

Chapter 29

Reflection

Chapter 30

Lessons Learned

Chapter 31

What You Won’t Do For Love

Chapter 32

What You Do

Chapter 33

2 Da Sky

My Ode to R&B: The Playlists

Vol. 1

Exposing The Heart Of A Heartbreaker

Vol. 2

The Pleasure Principle

Book Excerpts

Vol. 1

Exposing The Heart Of A Heartbreaker

Volume 1: Chapter 10

"Best Man"
Like a brother was how I always described Russell Sims. From day one, we hit it off like we’ve known each other our entire lives.

He was the one who encouraged me to approach and stay in touch with WUGH-PD Sean Wilkinson for the internship I eventually achieved.

Russ, in an unexpected way, filled the void left wide open by my blood brothers…

Volume 1: Chapter 16

"Didn't Cha Know"
Night fell on that following Saturday and I was running late.

Mitch already called once to let me know that he would be browsing some stores on 34th Street until I got dressed and met up with him.

The cab was on its way to drop me off at the train station. I stood outside to wait. In the blink of an eye, I saw a shadowy figure in the...

Vol. 2

The Pleasure Principle

Volume 2: Chapter 1

"The Pleasure Principle"
As I stare up at the chandelier, there is a sparkle in my eyes from the bright light.

No matter how many times I blink, those twinkling stars remain. They’re mesmerizing. I’m trying to make connections where they don’t seem to exist, like a game of tic tac toe.

Once a star falls out of sight, I return to that beacon of light for a replacement. I don’t want to see what’s in front of me. Facing my reality is a challenge, so I keep wishing on the stars. Maybe one of them will be granted....

Volume 2: Chapter 19

"Player Not The Game"
The countdown kicks off. In one week, my mother and I will be on a plane to Denver, Colorado.

She's going to meet her first-born grandchild. It's as if it's the one parting gift that Larry wanted us to have. His spirit is still alive in another form.

The kid's body is young, while an old soul fills the voids. Will my big brother's kid look like him or some other relative? The anticipation, to me, is disabling, but my mother shows no sign of sweat. She's so much better at hiding it....

Akim w/ Rihanna
Akim w/ Beenie Man
Akim w/ Tank
Akim w/ Mya
Akim w/ Monica
Akim w/ DJ Mecca
Akim w/ K. Michelle
Akim w/ Kirk Franklin
Akim w/ BET Dinner
Akim w/ 6lack
Camini Family Reunion
Akim w/ Music Choice Family
Akim w/ Mario
Akim w/ Jordan Fisher
Akim w/ former BET Family
Akim w/ Freddie Jackson
Akim w/ Emeli Sande
Akim w/ Elle Varner
Akim w/ Ricky Day
Akim w/ Family at Warehouse
Akim w/ Patti LaBelle
Akim w/ Trina
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About The Author

AKIM BRYANT

PUBLISHED AUTHOR

New Jersey native, Akim Bryant has reached a point in his life where he is ready to share the truth of his story.

His new book, Stuck Pages Vol. 1: Exposing the Heart of a Heartbreaker (Lulu.com, March 2015), aims to illustrate what it means to be a gay, black man in the 21st Century.

The debut novel reminds readers that love is love, no matter who the subject is.

“It all boils down to the fact that we all want to be loved, we are all seeking love and love is the same across the board,” Akim notes.

At 18, Akim interned for Perfect Pair Recording Studios in his hometown of East Orange, New Jersey, where he witnessed recording sessions by hip-hop legend Naughty-By-Nature and their R&B protégé Next.

Just months before college graduation, Akim landed his next internship at Music Choice, a digital cable network of more than 50 music channels. Through the years, he was promoted and programmed the R&B suite of channels.

In addition to his talent booking duties, he also hosted a number of internal music meetings with artists including Seal, Brian McKnight, Elle Varner and Keri Hilson. 

In 2007, Akim got his first writing gig crafting album reviews for soultracks.com. That same year, he was appointed lifestyle editor for Bleu magazine. Akim has also written for The Source and The Advocate magazines. He has done numerous in-depth interviews with artists such as Jasmine Sullivan, Evelyn Champagne King and Tank for the online portal soulmusic.com.

When Akim realized his passion for writing cannot be denied, he dove head-first into his novel. Although, he did hold back on releasing the first volume of Stuck Pages, unsure of what the public reaction would be. Ultimately, keeping true to his faith, Akim knew that his novel was too important not to share, and Stuck Pages Vol. 1: Exposing the Heart of a Heartbreaker was released in March 2015, by independent publisher Lulu.com.

The Stuck Pages series is the coming-of-age and coming-out journey of a heart-broken heartbreaker, Quincy Simmons, who graduates college and gets a dream job in the music industry, only to realize the life he has may not be the life he really wanted. Stuck Pages is a snapshot into the life and times of a young Black gay man in the early 2000s who is a hopeless romantic in a rather hopeless place.

“The series is a fresh perspective on my lifestyle. What I wanted to show is the complete view of being a young gay, Black man, from family life, to friends, to career. I show Quincy in a 360 degree way, so people can get past the stereotypes,” said Akim.

In Stuck Pages, Vol. 2: The Pleasure Principle, Quincy Simmons makes a major shift in his life after falling in and out of love over and over again. He doesn’t quite know who to trust anymore, which leads him to further search for truth in the men, the music, and the money surrounding him.

Stuck Pages V.2 is based on Sigmund Freud’s pleasure principle theory as well as the song by the same name. It finds Quincy turning his back on real love. Yet, he’s not really aware of it. Someone is bound to get hurt and Quincy is no exception.

Stuck Pages, Vol. 3: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart is currently in production and will represent the final phase of the trilogy, allowing Akim to further spread his wings as an author. It’s in his plans to then release a mystery novel followed by a science-fiction series. Music has helped to shape Akim’s voice as a writer and now, more than ever, he’s gaining the courage to express that voice all around the world. 

(Akim Bryant is currently Head of R&B Programming at Pandora.)

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